You’d be grumpy, too, if 25 years of your life went down the drain in one swell foop, thanks to regulation not aimed directly at you – you just happen to be down the fall-out line.

I’m clawing my way back out of the big, black hole that was widened and deepened by a series of personal losses and set-backs, and my sensitivity to their impact. It was a slow and insidiously imperceptible slide into the abyss, which I have only recently begun to recognize the extent of. Comprehensively, some 20 years are in the game, here, with varying degrees of impact by individual events, but all digging out at least a teaspoonful.

I love and marvel at nature every day. God had a particularly good day, I think, when He created birds and dogs. A good meal is from heaven! My nightblooming cactus is a wonder – one night several years ago it had 57 blossoms on it (23 is the record, so far, this year). The pride and the joy when my son finally passed his check-ride after having been weathered out for weeks (and the plane flunking pre-flight, once!) brought a tear of joy to me, too. Mommy pride to watch the son receiving his BS in Aerospace Engineering. Wifey pride when Hubby receives recognition for his aviation art (especially when it’s in the form of SALES! [hint, hint…] 🙂 ).

If you’ve ever been near the abyss you know that it does split your personality that way. There’s the very, very dark hopelessness, and yet you rejoice in so many things in life. It exhausts you. You try to find a bridge (maybe the bridge is more appropriate) between the two, knowing that somewhere, somewhere there’s hope! Maybe that’s not typical, I don’t know, but I attribute the knowledge of hope being there to Faith. As low and dark as I have been, never once have I contemplated “ending it all”. I just wonder: “How long will this be going on?” Seems like such a looong and deep valley to go through! And – climbing out seems almost futile, the sides are treacherous and I keep sliding back just when I think I can see the rim.
The Little Engine That Could comes to mind – the ticket out-and-through may just be a steady going, never giving up! Never giving up Hope.

I have connected with some really good people on Twitter – I have two accounts going: @TheStupidApprsr which I use mostly for appraisal related interaction – similar topics to what you’ll find here in my blog; the second one (actually created first & probably more familiar to the Twitter world) is @AviationArtLife which I use to show off Robert’s (hubby!) superb art and introduce people to wonderful samples of aviation art by posting them to Twitpic. Of course, I also use it to interact with fellow aviation enthusiasts and keeping up with aviation news (most recently following the events at Oshkosh).
You can see both of my latest update streams in the widgets at right. Follow me, and I’ll follow you back!

You’ve GOT TO visit “RK’s Aviation Art”, linked in the header above – of course there’s art for sale, but you won’t be bombarded with hard-sell tactics. There’s lots to browse and read – even some non-aviation “stuff”.

Thanks for visiting here – comments always welcome (please be civil!).
Updated 08/22/09

My Hibiscus is thanking me
for getting rid of the whiteflies!

Posted in THE STRIPES OF THE ZEBRA | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments